Things not to do at a Xmas Party

This next extract is all about what we should not do at Christmas party. (All these rules were broken by me last Thursday night)

1) Drink! Sounds simple - but would solve so many problems. I drank as if the white (yuk, should be unblocking loo) wine was running dry...this impeded many of my functionalities
         A) Ability to stand
         B) Ability to speak
         C) Ability to dance (tbh that went even before I drunk the wine)
         D) Ability to comprehend what you are doing?!
2) Dance with the boss - again sounds simple - but do not cave into peer pressure and start back shuffling with the boss at 2am - can only lead to complications at work.
3) Leave with other people! - Error - this is where I went really wrong - I left by myself, vision/hearing/walking impaired - turned left instead of right and ended up 4.5miles from where wanted to be.
4) Get into an unlicensed Cab - driven by an Nigerian hit man................and then run off (with him following...oops)
5) Walk from the wrong end of Lime house back to the City...in Minus 4 temperature.
6) Sleep on the stairwell as you haven't got a key to the office - leads to a sore/stiff next in the morning.
7) Get woken up by the cleaner and be the first person in the office at 7am...
8) leading on from point 7 - then do 10hour day at work...
9) well, when i say work - i really mean, stare blankly at the computer screen saying "when will it end?" repeatedly in your head for 9.5 of those hours...

Learn from my errors people!